You’re walking down the street. Let’s say it’s August. August 15 to be exact.

We can go as far as saying it’s 2016 as well.

Naturally, your head is down as you scan Instagram. You have FOMO about that birthday party you missed of that kid from your high school who you never even liked to begin with.

For a brief moment, you lift your head, join society and look to your right. Is that Roger Federer?

You look back down at your phone.

Wait. That’s Roger fucking Federer.

You have no choice in this situation.

“Roger, can I take a picture with you?”

“Sure, yeah. No problem.”

And BOOM. Three seconds later your arm is around the greatest tennis player who ever lived as you try to contain your excitement. Unless 1) Roger’s friend fucks up the photo, or 2) You hate the way you look, you are rushing BACK to your phone to post it on Instagram. Fuck that kid from high school. You just met Roger Federer. You are immortal.

Spoiler Alert: I am immortal. That person was me.

Without further ado, I present to you the rules and guidelines on how to get that celebrity photo.

1. Be Fearless

Let’s be real. These people don’t care about you. You’re never going to see Scarlett Johansson again and if you do, well you might as well shoot your shot and ask her on a date.
Celebrities aren't completely unaware. Scarlett realizes that you've been staring at her for the last 13 minutes.

2. You Might Get Rejected

We all like to tell ourselves that we would be polite celebrities. The kind that don’t get tired of people staring at them and are happy to sign autographs and take pictures with anyone. (See Federer, Roger). Can we be honest with ourselves for a second? We wouldn't be. I don't even like when a sales associate stops me at J-Crew. "Can I help you with anything?" No you can't. I'm leaving the store because of you.
If you get rejected, shake it off and move on. I grew up getting autographs at Philadelphia 76ers games and will never forget the day Kobe Bryant stared into my soul as I asked him for an autograph and walked away.

3. Wait for the Right Moment

Don’t be an asshole and interrupt Scarlett while she's eating her Kale Salad or talking to a friend. Wait for your opening. Pay attention if she’s paying the check soon and making her way outside. When you see the check come, you pounce.

4. Make Sure Your Camera Works

Once upon a time there was a world where people carried around actual cameras. With those cameras, you would have to upload the photos to a computer, then either print or email them to yourself. What a process. Nowadays, the camera is in your pocket and it can be sent to your cousin in Thailand within 30 seconds of the picture being taken.
Story time! When I was 12 years old, I was eating at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills with my Father and Brother and Hall of Fame cornernback Deion Sanders was there. Using the strategy mentioned above, we waited until Deion left the restaurant before we made our move. My official photographer, my Dad, took the photo of my brother and I, but there was an issue. The camera was on the wrong setting, the lighting sucked and the picture didn’t come out.
In short, don’t be that guy. Make sure your damn camera works.

5. Be Decisive

When you decide it’s time to get the photo, don’t hesitate. This is a one time deal. Celebrities aren’t waiting on you. The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to get. Don’t let Liam Neeson go to the bathroom because you assume he’s coming back. He’s a busy man. He’s got people to kill and his daughter to save.